This is why your mind is your worst enemy
Listen closely, because this is truly remarkable.
Just the other day, I was talking to someone I've been working with for a while, someone I’ve been helping with their professional growth journey.
They chose to begin their coaching path because they felt overwhelmed by work responsibilities and didn’t want to discuss this with their manager for fear of appearing weak.
Thanks to coaching, everything seemed to be going smoothly at first.
Until that fateful day, when their manager assigned them yet another project.
That day, it was pouring rain — I remember it vividly because the image stuck in my mind just as clearly as their words: “I’ll never make it.”
It wasn’t just about managing the workload. The real challenge was the complexity of the project itself: market research, data analysis, and developing a solution.
Quite simply, this person didn’t believe they could do it — not with their level of experience and skill set.
Now here’s a secret for you: unless someone’s asking you to fly like Superman or set yourself on fire like the Human Torch, the phrase “I’ll never make it” is the most useless thing you can say or think.
And that’s for one simple reason: your mind is constantly creating obstacles and, guess what? Its favorite target is you.
Luckily, coaching is designed to break through those imaginary barriers. Thanks to the techniques I used, I was able to help this person grow and succeed.
I’ll tell you how it ended later — but for now, just know this: that belief, like so many others, is something many people carry… yet it rarely has any real foundation.
I’m Filippo, and today I want to reveal the secrets of the Metamodel.
What is the Metamodel (in simple words)
I’ve found that people often struggle with anything that includes the prefix “meta”, and they start overthinking to figure out what it means.
So, I came up with a child-proof explanation to help make this concept easier to understand: the Metamodel is like a magnifying glass. It helps you look closely at what you think or say, so you can figure out if what you're thinking is actually true — or if there are other things you might be missing.
Now, let’s go back for a second to the phrase “I’ll never make it”, and break it down using the three fundamental elements of the Metamodel:
Generalization: “never” implies failure under all conditions, present or future. I don’t know about you, but when you look at it that way, doesn’t it already sound kind of unlikely?
Distortion: “I won’t make it” means you’re distorting reality, believing you don’t have the actual skills or abilities needed to handle a task or solve a problem.
Deletion: what’s missing? This stage leaves out specific information about what exactly you think you can’t do, leaving the whole situation poorly defined.
In the case of the person I mentioned earlier, the deletion referred specifically to the work project — but more precisely, the phrase “I’ll never make it” omits the actual skills and abilities needed.
Spoiler alert: they had what it took.
How to dismantle (false) beliefs
To help you get more familiar with the Metamodel, think of Calimero: “Everyone’s against me because I’m small and black.”
This is another classic example of how the Metamodel can distort our perception of reality.
But how do we break down these perceptions? Simple. Just like in coaching, you dive deeper into the issue.
Here’s how to break apart the belief: “I’ll never make it”.
Generalization: when you say “never”, ask yourself if there’s ever been a time in the past that made you think you couldn’t do it. Has it ever actually happened, or is it just something you imagined?
Distortion: what makes you believe you can’t do it? What solid evidence do you have of your (potential) failure?
Deletion: what exactly are you missing to overcome your obstacle? Try making a “shopping list” of the elements you lack to reach your goal.
Asking yourself the right questions will naturally help you resolve your doubt — effectively, and even surprisingly — because your answers might lead to powerful insights.
Bonus techniques
For the more skeptical among you who don’t know which questions to ask, here are some powerful techniques that can help you reframe reality:
Reframing: change the context or meaning of a situation. If you see something as negative, try viewing it as an opportunity or a challenge.
Anchoring: this is a technique from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) where you associate a positive emotion, like calm or confidence, with a gesture, sound, or image. It helps change how you feel in situations you once saw as difficult or impossible.
Visualization: practice visualizing yourself reaching your goal or overcoming a challenge. It helps you make that success feel real and removes mental limits.
So, how did it end?
I promised to tell you the end of the story — so here it is.
After I showed this person the Metamodel and explained how absurd their belief was, they decided to take the leap and give it a shot.
The result? You probably can’t guess.
Not only did they complete the project (which was never really in question), but by working in a team, they even met a colleague they later started dating.
And that should make you think. Especially about all the opportunities we miss out on because of limits we impose on ourselves — limits that don’t exist.
Now go back and read that last sentence out loud — twice, if you need to. Do you see how crazy it is?
The truth is that every single day, we’re victims of this mental construction. Breaking through those barriers may seem hard — and that’s exactly why I’m here to help you.
Start by booking a completely free call, and together we’ll start breaking down your obstacles, one by one.
Who I am
I’m just an ordinary guy who, at some point in his life, got tired of following the beaten path and chose instead to face life one moment at a time.
Today, I live in Australia, support myself with two jobs, and pursue my passions. And yes — this is the life that suits me. This is my ideal dimension.
Feeling fulfilled these days is one of the biggest challenges we face, but I’m here to help. Each of us is looking for our path, often without realizing that the answer is already within us — buried under layers of doubt and insecurity.
I want to help you peel back those layers so you can reach your true self — so that when you look in the mirror, you can finally say: “Yes, that’s me.”
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident, and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
